Luck, or fate?

There was a time i thought chaos had become part of me, woven into my bones so deeply that i could no longer separate myself from it. My mind felt like a room full of noise that never slept. Thoughts overlapping thoughts, fears running into memories, emotions colliding like waves during a storm. Some days i would sit quietly while everything inside me screamed. I learned how to smile while carrying heaviness, how to laugh while hiding exhaustion, how to make the outside of me look calm while everything beneath it was falling apart. I had convinced myself that this was simply who i was. Some people are made of sunlight, i thought.. and some are made of storms. I thought i belonged to the latter. I thought chaos was not something passing through me, but something living within me. So i stopped expecting peace. I stopped believing that one day, things would feel lighter. I carried my own mess with both hands and called it home because i didnt know where else to put it. Then you arrived, a...

I used to think the loudest things in the world were thunderstorms, crowded streets, or the sound of people screaming at each other in anger. But I was wrong. The loudest thing I have ever known was my own mind. It was exhausting living inside it. Every day felt like carrying a thousand unfinished thoughts all at once. Regret, fear, sadness, guilt, loneliness, each one speaking over the other until I could no longer hear myself clearly. Even during quiet moments, my head never rested. I could be surrounded by people and still feel painfully alone, because no one could hear the war happening inside me. There were nights when I stared at the ceiling for hours, wondering how everyone else made living look so easy. I wondered why waking up felt heavy for me, why happiness always seemed temporary, why my mind kept finding ways to convince me that I was difficult to love. Eventually, the darkness became familiar. And that is the frightening thing about sadness, it does not always arrive viol...